How Can Parents Instill Core Values in Children?

By Dr. Bilal Ahmad Bhat
Founder of BAB Group of Companies | Author of 28COE Core Values – Edition 1 | Thought Leader | Father of Three Daughters

In today’s rapidly changing world, parents are faced with unprecedented challenges in raising their children. Technology, social influences, and shifting societal norms often compete for a child’s attention, sometimes pulling them away from the moral compass needed to navigate life. Amid this, one enduring legacy a parent can offer their child is the gift of core values — guiding principles that help shape ethical behavior, define character, and influence life decisions.

As a father of three daughters and a global leader who has worked with thousands of entrepreneurs and changemakers, I, Dr. Bilal Ahmad Bhat, have always believed that core values form the essence of who we are. They are not just principles to be learned but truths to be lived, demonstrated, and passed down from generation to generation.

Understanding Core Values: The Foundation of Humanity

Before we explore the “how,” it’s essential to understand what core values are. Core values are the fundamental beliefs and standards that drive behavior and decision-making. Unlike goals, which are outcomes we strive to achieve, or beliefs, which may evolve with experience, core values remain consistent. They provide a moral framework for life — distinguishing right from wrong, shaping relationships, and fostering a sense of responsibility.

In my book 28COE Core Values – Edition 1, I shared 28 deeply impactful values like integrity, empathy, gratitude, and accountability — values that transcend religion, geography, or culture.

Why Instilling Core Values Matters

Parents are a child’s first teachers. From their first steps to their first major decisions in life, children look to their parents for guidance. Without a strong set of values:

• Children may struggle with identity.
• They may lack empathy and emotional intelligence.
• They can become easily swayed by peer pressure or societal trends.

However, children raised with a solid value system are better equipped to:

• Make wise decisions.
• Respect others.
• Stand up for justice.
• Lead with compassion.

Practical Ways Parents Can Instill Core Values

1. Be a Living Example

Children learn more from what we do than what we say. If you want your children to practice honesty, show them how you handle truth in difficult situations. If kindness is a value you cherish, demonstrate it through your everyday actions — whether helping a neighbor or speaking kindly to a stranger.

“Core values are caught, not just taught.”

2. Have Meaningful Conversations

Incorporate values into daily conversations. Ask your children:

• “How did you show kindness today?”
• “What do you think integrity means?”
• “Why is it important to keep promises?”

These questions spark reflection and make values relatable.

3. Storytelling and Books

Stories are powerful tools. Use books, movies, or even your own life experiences to highlight situations where core values made a difference. Share stories from your childhood or global leaders who stood for something greater.

One of the inspirations for the 28COE Core Values book came from global leaders who contributed one quote each based on a value they truly live by — making values not just theoretical, but practical and lived.

4. Encourage Responsibility

Give children age-appropriate responsibilities. Whether it’s feeding a pet, cleaning their room, or helping with dinner, responsibility fosters accountability — a key core value. When they see the results of their efforts, they build confidence and a sense of purpose.

5. Create a Family Value Chart

Sit together and define the core values your family stands for. Display them in your home. Revisit them regularly. This visual reminder reinforces consistency and unity.

6. Reward Value-based Behavior

Recognize and appreciate when your child displays a core value. This doesn’t have to be material — a hug, words of affirmation, or quality time together can be incredibly motivating.

7. Discipline with Purpose

When correcting behavior, connect it to values rather than rules. For example:

• Instead of: “Don’t hit your sister.”
• Say: “In our family, we show respect. Hurting others isn’t respectful.”

This turns correction into a learning moment rooted in values.

8. Be Patient and Consistent

Instilling values is a lifelong journey. Children will make mistakes. Use these moments as teaching opportunities. Be consistent, but also compassionate.

The Role of Community and Education

Parents don’t raise children in isolation. Schools, peer groups, religious institutions, and communities all play a role. As someone who has been actively involved in community building during my 2024 assembly election at the 32-Pampore Constituency, I’ve seen firsthand how instilling core values at the grassroots level — in schools, neighborhoods, and local governance — creates ripple effects that benefit entire societies.

That’s why, through platforms like 28COE (28 Credentials of Entrepreneur) and SPIW (Successful People in World), I’ve continued promoting value-based education and leadership globally.

Final Thoughts: The Legacy We Leave

Raising children is not just about preparing them for a career or ensuring financial success. It’s about raising humans who lead with empathy, act with integrity, and live with purpose.

Core values are not just virtues; they are the pillars of a meaningful life. As parents, it is both our duty and privilege to pass these on. By doing so, we are not just shaping individuals — we are building future leaders, entrepreneurs, citizens, and above all, better human beings.

Let’s make value-based parenting the new normal.